We the People

Mac:   We have 33 minutes, Commander.
(Harm looks at watch )
Harm: How do you do that?
Mac:   I've got great timing.

**

Mac: I got pulled off a double murder case to work this investigation,
and I doubt it's because of my vast experience with mail holdups in
Arizona.

**

Mac: Thats a very nice smile, and I'm sure most of the time it gets you
what you want, but I don't know you, Commander, so if you don't mind,
I'll keep my personal reason to my self.

**

Uncle Matt:    "Where did you find this sailor"
Mac:              "In a rose garden uncle Matt"
*********

Secrets

Harm:   "Leave it to the Marines."
Mac:    "Most people do."

**

Admiral Chegwidden: We're running out of time here, son.
Mac: Three minutes if your right about Osborne only giving us a
         half hour, Admiral.
Admiral Chegwidden: How the hell do you do that, Major?
Mac: I don't know, sir, but I'm never off by more then 30 seconds.

********

Heroes

Harm:   "Well, I thought it was pretty funny when you ducked under the
table."
Mac:     "I'm a Marine, Harm. Marines don't duck."
Harm:   "What do Marines do?"
Mac:     "They take cover, but they never duck."

**

Mac:     "If you have some evidence I should know about...."
Harm:   "You'll eventually get it, and then you can plea
              bargain."
Mac:     "In your dreams, Commander."
Harm:   "Oh, you don't want to be in my dreams, Major."
Mac:     "Red light, Commander."
Harm:   "Red light? There was nothing sexual in what I said, and
             if you think there was, then maybe I should be
             giving you the red light."
Mac:    "Why don't you just face it? Sooner or later yuo have to lose a
case, this
             happens to be it.. Losing your first case is a rite of
passage'

**

Mac:    "Objection, Your Honor. The prosecution has gone from
speculation to fantasy."

**

Harm:  "Where were you raised?"
Mac:   "Where friends don't sandbag friends."
Harm:  "That's somewhere in Ohio, isn't it."
Mac:    "Cute does not work in me, Harm."

*********

Crossing the line

Harm:   "Hell, when I crossed the equator, I spent a half-hour slow
             dancing with Bob Fredricks."
 Mac:   "Did you date much afterwards?"
 

**

Harm:
Mac:    "Their children?"
 

********

Ghosts

Harm:  "Phil is dead Mac, they killed him !"
Mac:   "Harm he's a goat. They gave mouth to mouth resucitation to a
goat"

********

Full Engagement

Harm: Game Warden, one of the worlds top ten thankless jobs.
Mac: Before or after JAG officers.

**

Harm:    "Think you can stand, Marine."
Mac:      "Unless you plan to carry me".
Harm:    "Well, maybe you should have layed off the Beltway burgers".
Mac:      "Yeah, and you worked out more"

**

Mac:    " I can still bitch about freezing my butt off, can't I?"
Harm:   "Quit your whinning. You've got ten percent more body fat then
              I do."
Mac:    "Are you calling me fat, stick boy?"
Harm:   "Stick boy? Women just naturally have more insulation the men"
Mac:    "And don't think that I'm going to forget that Beltway burger
             remark."

***********
Washington Holiday

Harm:  "When akwardness goes to $40 a barrel, I want the drilling rights

             to Bud's head."
Mac:    "Aw Harm, it just takes him a little while to get warmed
             up."
Harm:  "Warmed up? Love isn't baseball, Mac."
Mac:    "How would you know?"

**

Bud:  "Major, if you don't mind me asking, when you meet a guy and he
          asks you out....Well which one...? How do you know who....?
What
          works?"
Mac: "Why not ask Commander Rabb?"
Bud:   "I'd rather ask you ma'am. You're really pretty, and no offense,
           but I notice that you don't go out a lot."
"Mac: "You have a unique way with a complement, Bud."
Bud:   "Oh no-no, I didn't mean to imply that you can't get a date. I
            figured that you don't go out much because you're really,
really
            choosy."
Mac:    "Let's just hope that's really, really true."

**

Lt. Knox:  "I'm a great admirer of your legal prowess, Major"
Mac:        "Anyone who's an admirer of my legal prowess, I have to
                dance with...."

********
Game of Go

Harm:   "Major, how yould you like a dinner of grilled goat?
Mac:    "Depends how it's cooked.

**
Mac walks into Harm's room:

Harm:  "Very nice, Major.
Mac:   "You too. I was always a sucker for dress whites.
Harm:  "Well you know what they say about dress whites and gold
            wings".
Mac:   "What they say about dress whites and gold wings....
Harm:  "Yeah?"
Mac:   "Very over rated"

**
Mac and Harm wait for Webb to apologize

Mac:    "He can't do it?"
Harm:   "Give him time."
Mac:    "We've only got 46 minutes."
Harm:   "How do you do that?"
Mac:    "It's a Marine thing."

**********
Force Recon

Captain:   " First class is at 0600 hrs. Can you conduct your interview
by then
                  if its not too early ma'm"
Mac:        " I usually have lunch by then Captain"

**

Harm:   "Major."
Mac:     "It is a custom to salute an officer, Gunney".
  ( Harm salutes Mac )
Harm:    "Yes ma'am. You are loving this new relationship,
              aren't you?"
Mac:     " Not as much as you're loving your new infantry career"
 

*********

The Guardian

Harm is in the office practicing.

Harm:  "Remember, reasonable doubt is a qualified doubt. Unreasonable..
Mac:    "And unsubstantiated theories have no place in your
deliberations. You have to
             get some new material.
 Harm:  "Hey, if it works. Sit down, I could use an audience"
 Mac:    "Ah, thanks. I've had my afternoon nap."

********

Code Blue

Mac:   "Keeping up a pretty good pace for an old man."
Harm:  "The last couple of miles are a cool down."
Mac:   "Oh really. How far are you going today?"
Harm:  "The usual, 10 miles. You?"
Mac:    "The usual, 15."

**

Mac thanking Harm for pushing her out of the way.

Harm:    "Oh you would of done the same... if you would of been a littel

              faster"
Mac:      "Some of us are built for speed, others for confort"

**

Doctor:  "Well, I hope your friend, Harm is staying out of trouble."
Mac:      " If I know Harm, he isn't."
 

********

"Cowboys and Cossaks"
 

Mac posing for a picture between two visiting Russian Officers.

Mac:  "Why do I have the feeling that I'm about to become a Russian
Pin-up girl?"

**
Mac practices her kick boxing with a Russian sailor.

Mac:  "XO, I have to see the Captain after I get cleaned up"
XO:   "What happened to him?"
Mac:  " Marine Corps hickey."

********

Rendezvous

Harm:   "Oh my goodness. The Admiral sent Sarah MacKensie".
Mac:    "You nervous all ready?'
Harm:   "And why would I be nervous?"
Mac:    "Well you know, I have beaten you before."
Harm:   "That doesn't count. I dropped that case."
Mac:     "Yeah, you keep dreaming, flyboy."
 

**

Mac to the man she is defending.

Mac:   "Don't try to bully me, Chief. That approach may have worked with

            your wife, but right now I'm the only thing between you an a

            firing squad.....Capishe?"

**
Mac:    "Strange, isn't it? We say somehting's in the past, but it never

             really is. I carry my dad with me wherever I go."
Harm:  "That's okay, as long as he doesn't weigh too much."
Mac:    "He doesn't, not anymore."
Harm:   "It's about time."
Mac:     "Jerk".

********
 
 

SEASON THREE
 
Ghost Ship

Sokol:   "What are the two of you doing down here in the dark?"
Mac:     "Wondering if you were a ghost?

**

Mac:     "Harm, Bud's been at it non-stop for 32 hours and 24 minutes."
Harm:   "How do you do that?"
Mac:     "My mother's Swiss."

**

Harm:    "I slept the first day, but after that the nurse threatened to
              tie me down if I so much as stuck my nose out the door."
 Mac:     "Kinky."
 Harm:   "Yellow light, Major."
 Mac:    "Oh come on Harm, haven't we reached the point where we
              can drop the traffic signals."
 Harm:   "Absolutely. Have I ever told you why a female marine is
              like the Energizer Bunny?"
Mac:     "On second thought, let's not."

**********

" The Court Martial of Sandra Gilbert"

Mac:   "I'm the best person for the job."
Harm:  "Yeah, you're main qualification is you're a woman."
Mac:    "I figure Lieutenant Gilbert deserves a full and fair
             hearing no matter how the chips fall."
Harm:  "No special pleading because she is a woman in love, no
             playing the gender card."
Mac:    "People don't like you when you get like this."
 

**
Mac uses a quote of Harm against him

Harm:    " You remember everything I say?"
Mac:      " Only the good stuff"

*******

For the good of the service

The Admiral advises he'll be facing Harm and Mac in court.

Mac:    "But you're our commanding officer, Admiral."
Harm:   "Major, do you think I'd be so small and petty, I'd treat
              you unfairly just because we're adversaries in the
              courtroom?"
Mac:     "Yes sir.... No sir..."

**

Harm:     "Maybe I did not give you the benefit of the doubt."
Mac:       "No, you didn't."
Harm:     "Well I know one thing I'd rather have you on my side
                than oppose me."
Mac:       "Is that an apology?"
Harm:     "Consider it more an acknowledgement."
Mac:       "Acknowledgement accepted."

**

Blind side

Mac:   "I only recieved the order last night."
Harm:  "You can't pick up the phone?"
Mac:   "What would you have said? Dont come.

**

Chiaperralli:  "Good evening, Major."
Mac:            "Good evening. May I ask what your duties are here?"
Chiaperelli    "Ma'm, I work in the Public Affairs office and I help out

                     the Captain when I can."
Mac:            "I'm sorry, and what would that have to do with the
                     Commander?"
Chaperelli"    "He needs help getting around?"
 Mac:            "Apparently not."

**

Mac after flying in a Tomcat for the first time.

Mac:        "I apologize for all the flying jokes I ever made. How many
                G's was that? Twelve million?!?"

Hawk:      "How are you feeling Major?"
Mac:        "Lighter"
 

********

King of Fleas

Mac:   "Did you get teh Lab reports?"
Bud:    "Yes ma'm, is on your desk"
Mac:   "Bad idea Bud. Dont put things on my desk I'll never find them!"
Bud:    "Where should I pu them?"
Mac:   "Not on my desk"
 

*******
Vanished

Talking about Dalton

Mac:      "...he drives a Porsche!"
Harm:    "So? I fly Tomcats."
Mac:     "You are jealous."
Harm:    "Harm and Mac"

**

Mac:     "Are you afraid you're going to lose me?"
Harm:    "I'm getting tired of breaking in partners."
Mac:     "I almost thought we were going to have a Hallmark
              moment."

**

Harm:    "Back up, Mac! You have a tattoo? Why haven't I seen it? Now
              where would somebody find this...tattoo?
Mac:      "That's classified."

**

Mac:      "I'm looking for what every woman wants: the perfect career, a

               good man,
               and comfortable shoes -- lots and lots of them."

**

Mac:      "Bud, the flight jacket idea is totally ridiculous"
Bud:       "You think so? "
Mac:      "Oh absolutely, you'd do much better sitting on your
               helmet"

**************

Agaisnt all enemies

Mac:    "We have six hours and 22 minutes"
Harm:   "I know you want to wrap this up quickly so you can go home."
Mac:     "I want to wrap this up quickly so the admiral can get his
report."
Harm:   "Mac, you want to go home. You said so yourself."
Mac:     "I was just kidding about that, Harm."
Harm:   "Now I don't know if it's the sea you hate or if you love
Washington, or
             you just missed old Dalton so dog gone much."
Mac:     "Wow stop it right there, is this what this is all about?"
Harm:    "And all the trimmings a lawyer like him represents."
Mac:     "And what is that?"
Harm:   "Wealth, prestige, a Porsche. Everything you don't get as a JAG
lawyer."
Mac:     "And you are right, I am interested in Dalton as a man, not as
some hook to a better career. That is the
             stupidest thing that you ever said!"
Harm:   "Alright, ok, maybe I'm wrong."
Mac:     "You are."

***************
Above and Beyond

Bud is drinking to forget being away from Harriet.

Bud:        "I am drowning my sorrows "
Mac:       "Uh you got it bad, Lieutenant"
Bud:        Giggles "Permission to speak freely, ma'am. Look at the red
kettle calling the pot the same thing."
Mac:        "I am not love sick, Bud "
Bud:        "You called the Commander..."makes his voice sultry" Dalton"

Mac:        "I did not!"
Bud:        "Yes you did, twice "
Mac        "I can't believe he didn't say anything."

***************

Impact

Mac:      "I should be going with you"
Harm     " Of course you should, burning sun, stinging scorpios, this is
club med for marines"
Mac:      "Hell right now that sounds wonderful"

**

Harriet:    "It's like I'm dating a knight in shining armor."
Mac:       "Oh and that's a bad thing."
Harriet:   "You ever tried to make love to a man wearing an armor?"
Mac:      " Does football equipment count ? "

**
Final scene. Mac is leaving JAG. Harm and Mac say goodbye to each other.

"Try to sneak away without saying goodbye, Major?"
"I prefer good luck."
"Good luck. It was been a pleasure serving with you."
"Commander.... Harm, I know you probably feel betrayed, there are so many things I need to say, to explain myself... "
"No you don't I understand, I may not like it, but I am happy for you. I mean hell is not like you're going to Afghanistan, you're taking a job in Washington right ? We'll probably be fighting each other in court next week."
"I'd like that."
"That's because your a masochist ....... Hey don't cry. You start
crying, people see a Marine crying, it'll give the Corps a bad name."
"Permission to hug the Commander."
"Sure, permission granted."
"I am going to miss you, Harm."
"I am going to miss you too, Sarah..... you're ride is here. Nice car."
"Yeah, but it's no Tomcat."
 

**************

People vs Rabb

The Admiral:   "What about your long term career goals, how do I know
                        you want feel like spreading your wings again next week? "
Mac:                "Sir I could offer a lengthy argument as to why you
                         should take me back.  I could talk about serving my
                         profession, or my country, the simple fact is JAG is where I
                         belong."

 *******

Defeseless
 

Mac:    "I feel like I'm 15 years old again, getting grounded for
            stealing cars  and drinking.... if that's the sort of thing one gets
            grounded for as a teenager. You know, how long is the Admiral going
            to treat me like this?"
Bud:    "Oh, I don't know, ma'am. Maybe you ought to tell him how you
            feel about it."
Mac:   "Yeah, maybe you're right. I should march right in there and put
            it on the table."
Bud:    "Oh, I don't know about that, ma'am."
Mac:    "Who does he think he is anyway."
Bud:     "The Admiral?"
Mac:     "I don't deserve this. He is lucky to have me back, I should
             get right in his face and give him a piece of my mind!"
Bud:      "Mayday, Major. Mayday."
Mac:      "I'm a Marine, a devil dog, we don't back down for anything.
              Thanks Bud."

**

Mac and the Admiral

Mac         "I know you believe that I should be punished for leaving and
                maybe you're right, but right now Ensign Lane's future is
                more important than teachign me a lesson"
Admiral:  "Major do you know the diffrence between initiative and
                insubordination?"
Mac:       "Yes I do Sir and I would like to believe I'm demostrating
                the former"

**

Harm:    "What's going on with these two?"
Mac:       "Isn't it obvious ? They are sleeping together."
Harm:      "Nah, no way."
Mac:       "Twenty bucks say they are hot bunking."
Harm:      "I'll take that bet."
Mac:       "Watch and learn."
Mac:       "Oh Lieutenant?"
Bud         "Yes ma'am"
Mac:        "Hmmm, woman's perfume, long blond hair, lipstick on the
                cheek. Tell me Lieutenant, where did you sleep last night, and
                remember officers do not lie"
Bud:         "Oh... uh... is that Admiral Drake?"  ( Harm and Mac turn
                 away, Bud makes a run for it.)
Harm:        "You're good."
Mac:          "I know. Pay up fly boy."

*********

Someone to watch over Annie.
 

Bad guy:    "Nice boots." Mac proceeds to kick him on the face
Mac:          "I hate it when guys stare at my boots."

**

Mac:          "You know sir, there is something I've always wanted to
                   do."
Admiral:     "What's that?"   ( Mac kisses the Admiral on the cheek )
Admiral:     "You're not gonna do that a lot are you, Major?"
Mac:            "No, Sir."

  *******
 

Fathers day

Mac:       "Is the Commander in the Admiral's dog house sir?"
                ( Bud motions for Mac to stop talking )
Admiral:   "Why would you say that?"
Mac:         "Well considering there are bigger fish in the pond, I assume..."
                 ( Mac gets assigned to assist Harm )
Bud:          "I tried to warn you, ma'am."
Mac:         "Next time scream it in my ear!"

**

Reporter:    "Who are you two?"
Mac:            "Batman and Robin."

**

Harm:          "I need support, I am sharing a bed with Bud."
Mac:            "There's a bible in the nightstand."

**

Harm:          "Can I have that olive?"
Mac:            "Yeah sure, you know that's the food budget for today."

********

Yesterdays heroes

Bud talking to Harriet on the phone as Mac and Harm listen near by:

Bud:   "Harriet, with your parents? no, no, no I am working with
          Commander Rabb and Major McKenzie, they need me.... yes its true.... no I am
          not.. Excuse me  Major but Harriet would like to speak with you."
Mac:   "Harriet ? We are in the middle of an investigation... but I'm
           sure we could spare Bud for half a day. You're welcome, Harriet.
           Bye."
Bud:    "Major, did you just sell me out ?"
Mac:    "I'm giving you the day off, Bud."

*********

"Chain of Command"

Chief Sullivan:  " Back in the old days it was considered bad luck to
                          bring a woman on
                          board, if you ask me it still is."
Mac:                 " In the old days it was considered acceptable to
                          castrate the village pervert, if you ask me it still is."

 **

Dalton:   "Why don't we take some time ... "
Mac:       "It's over, Dalton. "
Dalton:    "Don't say that. "
Mac:       "It's said. "

**

Harm:   "Dalton? "
Mac:     "Gone. "
Harm:    "Is that a bad thing? "
Mac:     "You never liked him. "
Harm:    "I just felt you could do better, Mac. "
Mac:      "I thought he was pretty good. "
Harm:    "You're a good looking woman, smart, of course, you do have a tattoo…"
Mac:      "Every now and then I catch you being nice. "

**

Harm:     "Bud, nothing with a woman is ever great all the time. Hell, you're
               lucky if you get 5 good days a month. "
Mac:      "Oh, where do I start! "
Harm:     "You know what I'm talking about Mac, I mean humans with the
                opposing sex…"
Mac"      "Opposite sex. "

********

"The Stalker"
 

Admiral:   "I take it you don't believe in your client's innocent plea?"

Mac:        "Sir, Chief Savalas is a liar and a bully."
Harm:      "Who we will defend zealously."
Mac:        "Yes Sir, zealously."

**

Mac:     "Tell me again why we're defending this scum?"
Harm:    "Because the Constitution says he's entitled."
Mac:     "Well the Constitution is wrong this time."

**

Mac:   "What are you doing?"
Harm:  "I'm calling you a cab."
Mac:    "Harmon Rabb Jr, so righteous, so pure, you never had a weak moment in
             your life did you."
Harm:   "I'm going to wait outside."
Mac:    "Oh wait a minute I forgot, yeah, you have had weak moments in your
             life, of course, you're long lost father, neurotic Annie."

**

Admiral:    " Major, Mac, you think is your fault, you think what if I was a little
                   faster, smarter, braver, but it's not your fault.
Mac:           "No, sir."
Admiral:      "Go easy on yourself."
Mac:           "Yes, sir......."I will have some of that aspirin."
                   (the Admiral holds Mac's hands they get closer as if to kiss)
Admiral:      "This is a mistake."
Mac:           "Yes sir."

**********

Tiger, Tiger

Admiral:   "Eleven minutes for a woman to shower, must be some kind of record."
Mac:        "Not for a Marine, Sir."

**
Annie:   "If that was your son how would you react?"
Mac:     "I'd hold it in, but then that's why I'm an alcoholic."
 

**********

Death Watch

Harm:    "Kennrick coming on to me wasn't about sex, it was about power."
Mac:      "She tried to use sex to control you, very masculine
               approach."
 Harm:   "Wells that's a very feminine assumption."
 Mac:     "Touché."

**

Mac:        "Did you love her that much?"
Harm:      "I didn't realize how much until she was gone, it's always the way isn't it?"
Mac:        "Not always. Don't know what's worse: killing for someone you love, or dying for
                someone you love?"
Harm:      "Mac I didn't mean to open that wound."
Mac:       "Do you hold it against me for looking like Diane?"
Harm:     "Of course not."
Mac:       "Then don't apologize for saying something that reminds me of Dalton."

**

Harm kisses Mac

Mac:   "I know you were kissing her "
 

*********

Imposter

Mac reaches out and pinches Harm's face.

Harm's   "What's that for?"
Mac:      "Want to make sure it was you. One Harmon Rabb in my life
                is enough."

***********

Return of Jimmy Blackhorse

Navajo lawyer:     "You got some Native American blood in you, Major?"
Mac:                     "Cherokee."
Lawyer                 "I'm surprised you're not getting this."
Mac:                    "According to my understanding of
                            history of  Native America, the Navajo
                            were an adaptable people, the Cherokee had to be
                            forced into reservations. Your instinct should be to
                            accept, mine to resist, I'm surprised you're not getting that."

 **********

Wedding blues

Mac:     "Marriage isn't about losing your freedom, Bud, despite what
              you may have been told by the JAG Bachelor Brigade. Being married is about having
              someone to share your dreams with. I know for a fact that Harriet loves to travel and I bet
              she would look pretty hot on the back of a motorcycle."
Bud:      "Yeah, thanks, Major."
Mac:     "Oh, but you might have to give up the swimsuit model."

**

Harm:    "Looks like Bud did a good job in there."
Bud:       "He had a good teacher and he probably got a few pointers
               from you, too."

**********

To Russia With Love

Harm:    "I'll wait in the bathroom while you change to your pajamas."
Mac:      "What pajamas?"

**

Sokol:    "Sarah, as I recall you and I got an open dinner date."
Mac:      "Why not,  we can tell each other lies."

**

Harm:     "What time is it?"
Mac:       "East coast, Zulu or Moscow?"
Harm:     "Moscow will do."
Mac:       "0525."
Harm:     "Jet lag doesn't even throw off your internal clock?"
Mac:       "Nope. Although daylight savings time makes me think twice."